January Novel Writing Month '02
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Saturday, January 12

16,315 words. Almost two days behind schedule.

Posted at 3:42 PM

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Friday, January 11

Progress on my so-called beard:

Writerly? Wridiculous? Both?

In any case, it reflects the novel well: slow-going, blank in spots and ill-advised. In short -- and at only 15,111 words thus far, I do mean short -- rather pathetic.

Posted at 12:35 PM

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Thursday, January 10

14,865 words.

There is a limit to how far I'll let my plot careen for the sake of a good joke. There is, however, no limit to how far I'll go for a bad joke.

For instance, in Chapter 3, my two system administrators, Sam 1 and Sam 2, are discussing the company's recent exodus.

�Jack, he goes to Microsoft,� Sam 2 said. �Ben, he goes to Garden.com. What about those two design freaks? Where are they going, my brother?�

�You mean Sara 'Mother' Bell and her friend Michelle? Didn�t they go to Inheritance.com?�

�That�s right. Michelle, Ma Bell: These two weirdoes go to gather wills."

I've been planning that one for weeks.

Posted at 10:45 AM

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Wednesday, January 9

14,158 words. Almost back on schedule!

Posted at 11:36 PM

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12,949 words and rolling. Thank you, Carlo Rossi!

Posted at 10:12 PM

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I've decided to switch to the first person toward the end of Chapter 2 ("Heir Conditioning"), possibly midsentence. This is not a stunt, me trying to be "postmodern" or "neo-postmodern" or "neo-neo-postmodern." This is me trying to "salvage" my "novel."

Besides, the protagonist is merely a more capable, better dressed version of myself (hard to imagine, I know). This change should save me editing time whenever I lift wholesale from my journal.

Posted at 8:32 AM

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Tuesday, January 8

11,316 words. Exactly one day behind schedule.

But I have a few more characters, including Sara Finn, Michael Gabriel and Tony "Big Apple" Lyon. They're angel investors.

Posted at 5:11 PM

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Monday, January 7

Did I say knuckleballer? Knucklehead is more like it.

But you knew that.

Posted at 5:07 PM

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9,564 words. I've now introduced three characters.

The preparation-to-payoff ratio is getting out of control. I feel like a knuckleballer who feigns an elaborate windup, then throws a ball that coughs and wheezes its way toward home before flopping dead in the dirt 10 feet shy of the plate. I am literature's Charlie Hough.

Posted at 10:36 AM

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8,971 words. Still behind schedule but too tired to continue.

Must. Stop. Editing.

Must. Start. Drinking more.

Posted at 1:00 AM

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Sunday, January 6

Six days into January, somebody has finally asked whether I'm trying to grow a beard. (I'm 26, and it still takes me two weeks to hit five o'clock shadow.)

Not just any beard, I told her, but a ridiculous beard. And I'm not trying anything. As Yoda said: Be ridiculous, or do not be ridiculous. There is no try.

I am ridiculous!

Posted at 5:46 PM

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8,292 words. I'm now officially behind schedule. Measures are being taken: I stopped at the Jewel today and picked up 4 liters of Carlo Rossi. That should lubricate the creative juices for at least a week. Easy reading, as they say, is damn hard drinking.

In other news, Greg has been MeFi'd.

Posted at 2:38 PM

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